Becoming a new Mum is a feeling compared to no other. Most of us have waited our whole lives to hold a tiny part of us in our hands and our hearts. But, unfortunately, this dream becomes so idyllic in our minds that it's no surprise women have a hard time revealing the more traumatic parts of becoming a mother. 

As women, we have been programmed to feel embarrassed when we can't cope or when we flail in the deep throes of motherhood. Yet, not one woman on this earth has breezed her way through raising children, even though social media and surface appearances would have us believe differently.

If you want the harsh truths of motherhood, then read on and prepare yourself to take a journey to look at the good, the bad, and the ugly that come with parenting.

Here it is, five things new Mum avoid talking about.

BREASTFEEDING DOES NOT ALWAYS COME NATURALLY

Breastfeeding is one topic that is not spoken about enough! Sure sometimes a baby will latch perfectly, and it's a beautiful natural progression for mum and bub to bond together, but more often than not, breastfeeding can be a harrowing journey!

Nobody tells you that for a baby to feed correctly, you need the perfect latch. Mum and bub have both never done this before, they're both learning something new, and it can be unexpectedly challenging. It is drilled into us so early that breast is best and that it's second nature to new mums, so it's no wonder so many women feel defeated when they don't pick it up straight away.

You will get different opinions from midwives, lactation consultants, and friends that are only trying to help, but in the end, a mum and her baby will figure out what works best for them. You will settle into a rhythm with your new darling, and of course, if it doesn't happen for you well, then fed is best, and choosing formula is not taking the easy way out but is an excellent option if breastfeeding is not for you.

P.S. Do yourself a favour and make sure you have burp cloths at the ready wherever you go. Baby vomits are common and are a no-joke situation. Be prepared for anything, Mama. When you think you know what to expect, they'll shock you by doing something different. Shop our range of burp clothes here.

WHEN YOU GET ON TOP OF THE WASHING, THERE WILL BE MORE WASHING.

I hope you enjoy being a slave to your washing machine because it literally never ends! How one tiny human can go through so many changes of clothes is an unnatural and annoying additive to your daily household routine. Of course, if you decide to go with cloth nappies, then power to you but be prepared for the joys that come with washing poo and wee out of them every day and adding those to the giant pile of washing. 

Motherhood is absolutely glamorous, darling! We recommend stocking up on mattress protectors and cot sheets. If you think you've got enough, buy two more… just in case.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS 'GETTING BACK TO YOUR PRE-BABY BODY.'

Oh, you thought that since you've given birth, you can look forward to having your 'pre-baby body back? Unless you're part of around a 10% lottery winning gene pool, you've still got a few hard months of postpartum recovery ahead of you. You also have less time now as one tiny little person depends on you 100%, and you will be surprised how much your priorities change as you realise having a sixpack and being able to run a 5k is not nearly as important as raising your new baby. That's not to say that self-love and taking time for yourself isn't crucial to being the best mum you can be, but we can learn to love our new body for all that it's done as it's the fantastic thing that housed our baby for nine months and birthed them into this world.

YOU WILL QUESTION EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE

I'm sure you've heard of 'mum guilt,' but maybe not to the extent to which that sucker will hit you at every turn. New mums are learning as they go, and while there are many books on every topic imaginable, the opinions differ so much that it tends to confuse us even more. Are they getting enough milk? Are they too hot or too cold? Why aren't they sleeping? Why are they crying? All you need to tell yourself is that your baby is clothed, fed, and loved and that you're doing your best. Follow your instincts. It's the one saying about parenting that holds so much truth. Mum knows best.

IT'S A HORMONAL ROLLER COASTER

Once those postpartum hormones hit, it's like facing a ton of bricks. First, you will feel intense emotions of joy, happiness, and absolute pure love. Then the next minute, you won't be sure whether you're laughing or crying, and you will feel depths of sadness that you didn't know existed. The rush of hormones is totally normal and affects everyone differently, but if the bad times outnumber the good ones and your thoughts become too much or are taking over, make sure you talk to a friend or seek professional help. There are also a lot of online platforms that you can join anonymously, such as Mums Plugged In. You do not have to go through anything alone. We all have excellent support systems in our life, and it is not weak to ask for help if you need it. 

Our children are our entire world, and we wouldn't trade the bad experiences because the good far outweighs the bad. The highs of becoming a mother will most likely be the highlights of a woman's entire life. The proudest moments and the most significant wins are when children are happy and thriving. But, to make it very clear that it's not always sunshine and lollipops, and if someone had prepared me for the hard times, they wouldn't have come as such a shock.

Hang in there, new Mama's! You're doing great. This journey is incredible. The little moments will stay with you forever. Even though you might not be your old glamorous self, becoming a mother is the most beautiful experience, and trust us… it's worth it! 

P.S. Make every moment a treasured memory with one Write To Me Baby Keepsake Book.

January 19, 2022 — Vanessa Berryman